What's wrong?
Come on out!
You gotta go! Don't let this opportunity slip by!
To think I'd be in such a situation!
My life, led lacking all splendor, is heading toward a climax surrounded by three women!
But!
Unless I am to become some Renaissance man of the sexual arts, I must decide on one of them!
And obviously that's the one with the real body, right?
Come on out!
Hanuki-san is a woman with no faults on an emotional or visual level,
but tonight she was just too...
Quit it with the pretentious monologues already!
Let your feelings guide your body!
Carry me away...
Kaori-san is a silent, lovely maiden.
However, we are fated to be apart!
I know! I know already, sheesh!
If we are not able to meet, then I cannot continue this relationship any longer.
Keiko-san is classy and ladylike, but I can't see her like that!
That's true, sure... In this situation there's only one choice, right?
Therefore...
Therefore!
Then I was a brand-spanking new freshman university student
and before my eyes were open innumerable doors to that rose-colored campus life.
However, devoting my life to a single circle
poses a chance of wasting my entire college life in vain.
One must spread out the risk!
I will join many circles and experience a diversified rose-colored campus life!
"English Conversation Circle"
"Korea"
"Sea of Japan"
"Tottori Sand Dunes"
"Lake Biwa"
"Kyoto Prefecture"
I bet I could take trips abroad as easily as going to Awaji Island.
"Awaji Island"
"Jupiter"
"Russia"
"Mars"
"Japan"
"Kibo"
Able to read English newspapers,
I would no longer be forced to dance only to Japanese language news.
Among the large number of native languages, it's the one spoken by most people.
English!
Able to converse with anyone... Able to make acquaintances with foreigners...
"Self Pride"
"Sense of Shame"
And most of all, not encumbered by Japanese's arrogant sense of shame or enlarged self-pride,
with English conversation I can have a buoyant talk session with a raven-haired maiden.
There's no down-side to learning that skill!
This is difficult... Conversing in English like this is a tough road to travel.
Here we go again...
As I put the grammar together in my head,
improving and polishing the thought,
the conversation has already proceeded to the next stage.
Damn, I'm taking this way too seriously.
However, if the other choice is spouting some grammatically incorrect English,
I will take pride in being a man of few words!
Silent as usual, I see.
If you don't say anything, it's your loss.
I have plenty of English vocabulary in my head, but...
You should just go with your feelings.
Hanuki-san's English was left a bit too much to her feelings,
and to be honest, it's a miracle the instructor understood a thing she said.
It was speaking from the soul which I myself could never hope to do.
"Dental Hygienist License Name: Hanuki Ryouko"
Hanuki-san is a dental hygienist,
and she spoke passionately about her work and knowledge of teeth,
raising everyone in the circle's dental IQ.
"Sexual Harassment Dentist Kubouzuka Part 15"
And among her talks, the badmouthing of "Sexual Harassment Dentist Kubouzuka"
was most acclaimed.
She and I had a common acquaintance.
Oh, so you and Ozu-kun are in the same year?
It's a small world, you know?
He's a patient at our practice.
Every time I think he's about to be fixed up,
he reverts back, so he never completely heals.
I suspect it is just a plot by him to keep tasting your fingers, Hanuki-san.
He's always thinking up cunning plots like that.
That's his hobby.
He lives for messing with other people's lives.
Ozu and I are in the same year.
Despite being in the electrical engineering department,
he hates both electricity and electronics, as well as engineering.
I first met him in June of our freshman year.
Sir, might you be troubled?
Who the hell are you?
Are you a devil who wants to bargain away my soul?
You say some pretty mean things.
I want to support you!
College life is super-busy with searching for love.
If it might help to lower the burden of your academic study,
we have prepared reports for most occasions...
Please, make use of them to fully experience this abundant campus life.
Right now, we're holding a sale.
I, juggling three clubs at once, and pressured by school work,
was easily cajoled by Ozu's wheedling.
The organization known as the "Print Shop" creates forged reports,
and I had fallen into a situation where I was dependent on them to get me out of jams.
Hence, my inability to break off my relationship with him I so despised.
Ozu is nothing but trouble.
It sounds like he has underhanded dealings in a bunch of other circles.
He won't rest unless discord is ringing out from all around him.
I'm sure that if he wasn't here, I would have led a better life.
Man, he pisses me off...
If you're so worked up about it, why don't you talk about it in English?
English is all about feeling, so with that much passion grammar is secondary.
"OZ News Episode 1"
And thus my OZ News became a well-known event in the English conversation circle.
OZ news is going great, don't you think?
It's all thanks to you, Hanuki-san. Ozu's evil deeds know no cultural boundaries.
Around this time Hanuki-san and I would always go to a cafe after the circle meeting.
Hanuki-san, do you drink?
I don't mind it.
It can cause problems, though, so I only drink with people I'm close to.
Close to?
What's the matter?
Eww! It's Kubouzuka!
"From: Kubouzuka I'm in the hotel lounge right now. Want to come for a drink? (´∀`)ノ★"
I guess those speeches weren't all exaggeration.
Hell no. That perverted dentist has a wife and kids, and he's still doing this every day!
Every day?
Maybe I should quit and sue his ass!
Thanks.
Don't worry, I'll handle it.
Hanuki-san, do you have a boyfriend?
Whether we're going out or not... It's a love hate relationship.
What's he like?
Like this.
But he's been totally neglecting me,
so if it's like this, maybe I'd rather have some guy that asks me out every day.
And you?
Uh, I'm always being dragged around by Ozu, so...
Oh yeah? I hear you've been exchanging letters.
That's just a hobby!
It's not like I'm trying to add some extra flavor to my campus life or something!
Did Ozu really tell you all that?
That evil bastard...
Well, Ozu can be very devoted as well.
Doesn't seem that way to me.
There you go again.
You haven't heard about Ozu-kun's love?
His love?
Ozu-kun is in love with someone right now.
His partner has led a sheltered life, so he's having quite a lot of trouble.
He told me to keep it a secret, though.
For someone like him? No way in the world!
Oh, sorry. Going to a "mystery hotpot."
With "him."
Later.
I'm home.
So, dear viewers, be not surprised!
I have been living these past few weeks with this woman, Kaori-san, after some happenings.
Those of you who see a love-doll as nothing more
than a device to manage one's sexual desires will not understand,
but this is extremely sophisticated taste.
Pardon me.
"Aiming to become an international actor. Vacation Abroad (Europe, America) Study Acting Abroad"
"Today I taught English conversation again."
"Although the longest I've studied abroad is in Paris,
my experience is of great value to everyone who has not."
And furthermore, I had been exchanging letters
with a girl after a certain point for these past two years.
Her name is Higuchi Keiko-san,
and I can tell her intelligence and education from her letters.
She is surely my ideal woman.
Nothing much remarkable had happened to me prior to entering college.
And once I realized that, I found myself on the board of the game of "Love."
From now on I must continuously meet women,
"Take a walk together. Eat mitarashi dango at entrance to Shimogamo Shrine. Start to talk about moving in."
keep meticulous dates in my date book,
and whisper sweet nothings until I start coughing up blood, yes?
"Go to Kyoto zoo on a weekend date. Lots of families with children, start thinking about marriage."
Just thinking about it made me dizzy...
I had to choose one eventually.
But I was also happy as I was pondering it.
However, the situation took a sudden turn!
It may look like I was turning things around well,
but everything started suddenly going out-of-gear!
This is odd. Something is wrong.
Her grammar! Her grammar is quite accurate!
What's the matter? What happened to her soulful speech overflowing with passion?
Hey, wanna go out for some drinks?
I was finally asked out for a drink by Hanuki-san!
This certifies that she feels close to me now!
Um...
I have a report I need to write today...
Oh, I see.
Right. Good luck on your report!
Is this okay?
You sure about this?
Letting Hanuki-san go like that?
Hanuki-san was clearly not acting like herself today.
But he's been totally neglecting me...
Perhaps something happened between her and her boyfriend?
That would explain why she asked me out for drinks.
Perhaps Hanuki-san needed some emotional support?
Should not I, her café buddy of two years, provide support in her time of need?
But today is my last day with Kaori-san.
We are being torn apart.
I wonder if you'll forget about me?
And also, I received this letter from Keiko-san the other day.
I can wait no longer. I want to tell you.
I'll be waiting at the Cafe Collection.
If perchance you do not come, let us no longer persist in this exchange of letters.
She is waiting tonight as well.
All my accounts from these past two years are approaching settlement!
I see.
Before I realized it, I had come to the fortune teller in Kiyamachi.
You are currently having difficulty choosing between three things,
but opportunity is always dangling before your eyes.
That'll be 6,000 yen.
You didn't answer a thing!
So if it's like this, I'd rather have some guy that asks me out every day.
I knew it, I can't leave her be!
I cannot allow her to be ruined tonight by some perverted dentist's invitation!
First comes Hanuki-san!
Hanuki-san, don't let yourself fall into Kubouzuka's clutches!
Y-You? Why aren't you at your post?
Jougasaki-san?
And you! Why are you here?
Oh? You two know each other?
I don't really understand, though...
Wow, look at you go!
I have high tolerance.
I figured you'd be worthless at your job.
Oh! Is it time for a drinking contest?
Drink, drink!
I wonder if you can appreciate the taste of this wine?
And how many bottles will it take for you?
Yeah! Go, go!
If that's how you want to play it!
First one to collapse loses!
That goes without saying.
Well I'm not giving in!
I won't fall!
Shall we move on to "Walker"?
Sounds good to me.
Count me in!
It was a grand, manly battle between Jougasaki and I.
I was starting to lose consciousness...
But Jougasaki also seemed close to losing.
By the way, Hanuki-san showed no signs of being done in by the alcohol.
Let's drink more!
I was already at my limit.
That's it, I'm...
I-I won!
Hanuki-san, don't fall for a man like Jougasaki!
Have higher standards!
Oh, Jougasaki-kun and I aren't like that.
He's just an old friend.
But I didn't think you'd come.
Let's head to another place!
You still want to drink?
I've got to finish that report and...
Did you say something?
Come on, let's go home already...
I can't hear you!
If I don't hurry, Kaori-san will...
You jerk!
Go to hell and die!
"Shimogamo Taxi"
Hanuki-san, your address!
Sakyou-ku Shimogamohigashi...
I've got a Castella, so spend the night...
I have to hurry, or Keiko-san will...
Please, try and walk straight!
Hey, that tickles!
This is lookin' good!
What's your room number?
I forget.
Come on, now...
Just kiddin'...
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
I wanna check my mail!
I think that can wait, don't you?
Hey, hey, that's what I'm talkin' about!
Here we go, here we go, here we go!
Finally!
My once-in-a-lifetime chance!
Ever since I passed through that accursed gate of puberty,
my Johnny has been forced into a miserable state.
Indeed my history is nothing but the history of my Johnny's suppression.
For having a man like me as your master... I apologize!
Tonight's the night!
However!
I will keep my pride as a civilized person!
What?!
Where is your key?
Uh... Uh... Huh?
There it is...
Oh? It won't go in...
Man...
Ah, it went in.
Want to come in for some herb tea?
Well, I...
...don't mind if I do!
Sorry, I think I drank too much.
It's nice facing the river. Kind of loud, though.
"Inside the Brain"
How are we supposed to get through this situation in a chivalrous manner?
We must retain our honor!
Here we go! Yeehaw!
Have a seat on the sofa.
Wait until it boils.
Let me read your palm.
Oh, this one's totally separated.
That means you can't tell the situation you're in.
But it seems like you're suited to romance.
Here it comes! Get this party started, heck yeah!
Hey, let me see inside your mouth.
Wait, Hanuki-san...
I'll give you a gum massage.
This one's on the house.
What's the matter? Why do you look so scared?
I-I always look like this!
You liar...
You didn't have a wrinkle there before.
See?
Silence!
"Frontal Lobe"
Amygdala, situation report!
"Amygdala"
Yes. Currently our pulse is elevated, and sweating will not cease.
The cause is from here.
"Mothership"
"Emergency"
"External Vessel of Primary Factor"
"Primary Factor"
Two soft swells are pressing against the mothership.
"Cerebellum"
"Parietal Lobe"
I tried to fend off such a situation calmly,
"Occipital Lobe"
"Temporal Lobe"
but as I'd suspected, it was an extremely difficult task.
"Frontal Lobe"
Why is it that these soft swellings of no merit have such control over us men?
I was not able to solve that riddle.
Stop being so pretentious!
Don't think, tool!
Of course, considering the position Hanuki-san's breasts are in right now,
I would not fault myself for becoming aroused...
We're aroused?!
What happened to our pride?
So I cannot allow these mere swells to grab hold of my pure heart
and sacrifice my long-protected, unavoidable chastity!
My pride won't allow it!
Don't be so tense.
See, they're all worn down.
All you ever do is grind your teeth. You're so tense...
It's my turn!
Your gums are soft, though.
They're all pink and inexperienced.
Doesn't it feel good right here?
You want me to go deeper?
"Succum"
Take emergency shelter in the bathroom!
Over there!
"Bathroom"
"Ah, it's a cockroach!"
Ah, it's a cockroach!
This was our opportunity! Open up!
I can't.
Whatever, open up!
I can't!
Can I be called civilized if I allow myself to be controlled by my desires of the hour?
Can I keep my pride taking advantage of a woman falling over from too much alcohol?
Open up!
This situation came about unexpectedly,
so it was only now that I tried to think it through calmly.
Hanuki-san, Kaori-san, or Keiko-san?
The choice is obvious, you dolt!
It was then that I thought of something.
Could it be that Hanuki-san actually wanted to be with me?
Didn't you say it?
"Last Summer"
It's inexcusable to partner with someone you don't have a burning passion for
based purely on desire just because you're lonely!
But, why?!
I despise this sort of thing.
The door to a new world is opening!
Don't you want to see what's on the other side?
Yes, I want to see! But now is not the time!
If this isn't the opportunity, then when is?
It's because this is an opportunity that I should wait for her to sober up
before properly restarting merger negotiations!
I'm begging you!
I've always been complaining about my bad luck!
I can't take it anymore!
Johnny, I can't...
The bonds between man and woman can't be tied so simply...
I know... I know!
Don't mind me!
I'll just have to wait some more.
What's a little while longer?
Johnny, you understand me?
I wonder how much time had passed?
When I came to, it seemed like I had fallen asleep.
Has Hanuki-san calmed down by now?
For some reason, Hanuki-san looks strangely like Ozu.
Oh wait, that is Ozu.
What are you doing?
Try putting yourself in my shoes, being called out by Hanuki-san or Jougasaki-san.
But, why?
When she drinks, the wheels come off her reason a bit, you see.
What's that supposed to mean?
Did she, perhaps, lick your face?
Yeah...
She has a bad habit of licking people's faces when she drinks.
She refrains from going drinking with people she doesn't know well.
But today she got carried away.
In other words, she'd like you to consider what happened today as water under the bridge.
That's...
You didn't do anything, right?
All I did was get my face licked.
Considering your looks, that's all you could expect.
While you shut yourself up in the bathroom,
Hanuki-san is hugging the toilet at the convenience store getting her comeuppance.
By the way, Ozu, don't tell me that you and Hanuki-san...
Please, don't even joke about that.
She requires a person like the Master far more than an ordinary individual such as myself.
And yet, for some reason, I felt slightly relieved.
"I collected Kaori-san. The Castella is a reward from Jougasaki-san. -Ozu"
I wonder how long Keiko-san had waited?
But, it's for the best. I have maintained my hard-protected chastity.
You think I'll let myself be tied to a woman like some shoelace?
I've just returned to the starting point of the game of "Love."
This kind of thing's an everyday occurrence.
I got a Castella out of it, so I think it turned out pretty good, all things considered.
Hang in there! Keep hanging in there!
But, I wouldn't mind if I could live my life again, even just a little bit!
At the very least, starting from a few hours ago!